BREAKING NEWS: A Moose Fell in Ice, and the Moose Did Not Get Out of the Ice, but the Moose Survived!

BREAKING NEWS: A Moose Fell in Ice, and the Moose Did Not Get Out of the Ice, but the Moose Survived!

Nov 8, 2019


Let me dance for you

Like you want me to

Let me sell you lies

Complicate the truth

You are all mine!

— from Birds of Tokyo - “Harlequins”


The Resistance has found a better way to deliver news. They argue that The Media have been corrupted by money, fame, and power. As such, they are aiming to hit where it hurts - their public image. What is the plan?

The plan is to leverage the 24-hour news cycle to force major news networks to report lies for an entire presidential term. At the end of this term, HollowPoint Organization will willingly reveal the truth.

The truth is that the data is clear: mass media is akin to mind control. It is detrimental to society. In order to succeed as a species, humanity needs to write history - not “news.”

The distinction is time; we must take our time before reporting information. It is irresponsible to bury solid journalism beneath a mountain of lies enabled by the media.

And now, we will provide you with some filler content to obscure this article from web-scraper bots.

A Tale of Two Meece

BREAKING NEWS: A moose was actually encapsulated in a ball of ice. Um, the moose fell in, because it was heavy when the ice broke. The moose was not being careful, and the moose fell in, and then the moose couldn’t swim out because it’s a moose. I mean, moose don’t swim - like, it’s a moose, not a goose you know - like one letter makes a huge difference. And the moose dropped in and the moose started drowning. And then the moose didn’t drown because the moose froze!

But, by freezing there was, like, a pocket of air. The moose could keep breathing but the moose couldn’t breathe too much because then the moose could create carbon dioxide which would eventually poison the moose. I would eventually you know, mmm, like you know to toxicified the moose but the moose was saved in time! Because the moose was fished out of the water, people!

“Like wow this is a frozen moose!” People are like, “This is rare, this has never been seen before! This is a frozen moose!” But they thought the moose was dead - was a dead frozen moose - but no, it was even more rare, it was an alive frozen moose! And then the moose was heated up, so that way the moose wasn’t frozen anymore, because people wanted to study the moose - like Lucy.

I don’t know if you guys remember Lucy, because Lucy might have been in part of the content that was cut out, but Lucy was a recent cave woman that was found frozen. And moose… felt sad.

The moose felt like there was so many people around it, but yet no one understood the moose. The moose felt cold on the outside. The moose felt like there was a hard cold exterior shell around it, but there was a warmth inside the moose. There was a sense of life inside of the the moose that the moose wanted to share with just one other moose - just one. Not, well, not many people just one. Not many meece, just one. Hence why the moose was crossing over an ocean of ice. You see, the ocean of ice was the moose’s hardship. The moose was learning how to cross this miles and miles of ice that the moose had created just to kind of separate the moose from the other meece.

And the moose finally was crossing over this built-up ice shield that the moose had created in order to reach a moose that the moose would understand on the other side, because the moose knew there was a moose on the other side that understood the moose. That would support the moose. That loved the moose. That saw the moose for what the moose felt like it was deep on the inside - before the moose created these miles of ice between it.

Even when the moose felt cold and numb on the outside, when the moose saw the other moose he would always feel warm, and tender, and there would be fireworks on the inside of the moose, burning that moose again and that moose could finally feel like that moose didn’t need the miles of ice. It could just do well on land with the other moose where they could just stand side by side, protecting one another. Because the moose, in the same way, the moose felt appreciative that this other moose was there to protect it and support it and build it up and take care of the moose. The moose wanted to do the same for the other moose because the moose loved this moose. The moose knew this moose was flawed and granted, of course, the moose gets annoyed from time to time about little things about that moose. You know, just little things that the moose - other moose also get annoyed about. By, you know, for example the moose gets annoyed by certain things that the moose does and the other moose gets annoyed by certain things that the other moose does. Very little things that the moose - together the meece - find it funny because the meece ultimately just sort of laugh it off because it’s like, “oh well, this is such a tiny thing and it’s such a funny thing to laugh at.”

Because you know there’s just, like, it’s very funny when the meece love each other and support each other and protect each other, but then get annoyed from these little things. It’s a funny little circumstance that the meece find themselves in, but the moose wants to make sure that the other moose feels comfortable, protected, and secure. But this comfort and protection is the - the - the moose feels insecure that they’re not providing that enough, because the moose is j- ust it feels - like it’s such a cold frozen animal that if you can only feel like it can only ever be cold and frozen so the moose wants to make sure that they’re giving enough warmth to the other moose. To make sure that they understand - that they understand that though they were cold and frozen when they first found them, they are ultimately a very warm moose and the moose wants to make sure that the moose knows that. But the moose does know that. The moose knows that, it sees that, and it is abundantly clear, but sometimes you have to just not be constantly reminding the other moose because the moose will get a little tired from that. The moose will feel like, hey now, I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times, sometimes, now, it feels like you’re not listening to me, and if you’re not listening to me, then what is the point of continuing on this moose relationship. But the moose knows that consequence, that if they continue to ask this moose, “you know, hey do you um, um, you know all of these things” It’s the moose will get tired so, so the moose doesn’t do that. The moose sometimes does that but it doesn’t always do that.

And the moose does that on average maybe once every two months, but only because the moose cares about the other one so much that they want to make sure that the other moose feels taken care of. It’s not a matter of making the moose feel like “oh, the moose is taken as you know is is you know being emotionally wasting.” The moose knows that the other moose loves it and cares for it, but the moose wants to make sure that the other moose knows that that moose loves and cares for it in return. It’s that reciprocity that the moose wants to assure the other moose, like, “I know the moose loves me but do you know that I love the moose?”

That’s the question. Because I love the moose, and I know the moose loves me, but I want the moose to know that I love the moose. Because it is so rare to find a moose that makes the moose feel like it’s truly loved and taken care of. This it deserves. The world, it deserves a warm world where moose aren’t being frozen and fished out of lakes completely made out of ice.

So the moral of the story is, moose shouldn’t walk on ice. Ice is a dangerous thing to walk on. Be careful. Be cautious. And don’t do it - just don’t. Move somewhere warmer, like closer to a volcano. But not too close, because as we saw from the people of Pompei, it’s not a good idea and I don’t know if people of Pompei breaking news was kept in from the unfortunate loss of content. But you know something - sometimes, we lose things, but the moose will never lose the other moose because the moose knows the moose will never leave it - till death do you part. It says the moose - the moose - will never leave the moose because the moose loves the moose too much to leave the only way the moose will leave is if death parts them, but the moose was frozen! The moose didn’t even die! When he was completely frozen, why? And when it was faced with carbon dioxide poisoning, why? Because the moose was thinking of the other moose the entire time. It motivated the moose to remember to think about the other moose.

And the moose knew that, “hey, I am in love with this moose. I will fight death. I will make sure that I live in order to continue living life with my other moose. Not only because I don’t want to cause them pain, but because I want to live the beautiful life I’ve been gifted with - where I get to live with this beautiful, wonderful moose that supports and cares for me the same way I support and care for that moose.”

So the moose decided to live. It wanted to live. It forced itself to live. So people came along and the people thought - the most thinking it was dead, but no - the moose came to life! The moose came to life! And the moose continued walking across the ice, but quickly, because the moose needed to get over these icy miles of defenses. He needed to get to the other side, the other side of the land, that way he could be reunited with its moose but in its full form or listen, “I am still cold, but I am not nearly as frozen as I used to be and I have traversed this miles and miles of ice just to be with you, because I will traverse any land. Anything - just to be with you. Why? Because I love you, and I will be, I will be, I’ll do anything to be with my moose!”

So the moose, the other moose just was, again, it was absolutely in aww. You know, no other moose had ever done that for this moose. And that moose was moved so deeply in love with that moose that the two of them got married in moose marriage.

And that was the breaking news, as there’s moose marriages going on around the lab, and moose are big. Or, meece… meece.

Is it meece or moose? People say correctly that it is moose, but I prefer to say meece, because if there’s geese there’s meece.

Prove me wrong.

The Girl Next Door


data.stats.symptoms = [
    - love
    - gratitude


Into the trees

Past meadow grounds

And further away from my home

Baying behind me

I hear the hounds

Flocks chasing to find me alone

A trail of sickness

Leading to me

If I am haunted

Then you will see

— from Opeth - “Reverie / Harlequin Forest”


Humans would rather pick at their scabs than bandage the wound.